eyes fly open

as suggested by spski, although he didn't mean a blog, he just meant i should write it down, but this is more me...

this blog is entirely about when i attack dinah in my sleep - as happened last night, so i can check back later on... look for patterns...

so the date and time will be the time of the event rather than the time of posting, for example i'm writing this @ 21:13 sunday night but this will be posted with the time of 1:00 am sunday morning because that's roughly when it happened...

i had been already asleep when she got into bed, i'm a little beset by a cold/flu thing at the moment and i went to bed before she got in from her dad's last night... so she was awake when it happened...

she says she was looking at me and my eyes flew open and a nasty look appeared on my face.

i grabbed her throat with one hand and pushed her head down onto the pillow with my other hand, she says she didn't want to hit me to wake me up, i told her she should hit me to wake me up - although a better way of doing it might be nice...

i have no memory of any of this,

she said this carried on for a little while but then i pinned her arms to the bed... this is where i started to wake up...

i thanked her (i remember this - i don't remember what the dream was but i remember that she was resisting me and that i was firmly holding her and thanking her)

grdually i woke up... then spent the next 10 minutes or so comforting her...

retrospective violent toward things

(taken from this post in my regular blog putting this here on friday 13th oct '06)


oh and one more unrelated thing - (or is it?) -

i woke up last night to dinah upset, couldn't work it out at first but it turns out i'd pulled her pink plastic venus de milo over, along with the mirror behind it and i was violently tugging on a fluffy thing that is pinned to her headboard...

not violent towards her but violent towards her belongings which does freak her out...

so i spent a good 10 minutes soothing her which is no bad thing, mulling over yet another violent sleep thing...

?

x

1st one (retrospective)

i wrote this over on deoxy the night after i'd attacked dinah for the 1st time:

last night in my sleep i attacked my girl...

and yes tonight i've drunk & smoked more than maybe i should of,

but last night in my sleep i attacked my girl...

she woke me up with a slap in the face, and my first words to her were...

baby, did you hit me?

to which she replied... yeah well, you started it..

last night in my sleep i attacked my girl, and though i found it funny enough when i talked about it with her today, i am not asleep right now, i've got to get up for work in about 4 hours...

it's not the only thing going on, and maybe once i've posted this i'll go up there and put my arms around her and drift into beautiful slumbers...

just marking this place for myself...

keep it unreal

x